Friday, February 26, 2010

Balancing Act~Health and Family Comes First!!

Without getting into too many details, I choose to withdraw from the MBA program, to tend to a family matter. Just when I thought I was back in the game again and moving along, a family member of mine urgently needed my support. Without any hesitation, I step up to plate.
What can I say, family comes first. In my younger days, my career took priority over my family but not this time.

In the book, Tuesday with Morrie, his last year before his death he writes about it is so important to maintain relationship with family and friends. He shares, at the end of the day the most important people who love you, are your family and friends. He emphasis the need for us to nurture these relationships, and make them a priority. Your riches will be rewarded by the love and support you received in return. Morrie, says, the worst thing in the world for someone die “alone”.

This is why he emphasis that career, certification, money and prestige will not bring you happiness. The key to having it all, is to be able to “balance your life”. He strongly, emphasis we need to invest in the people that love you the most. HE says, we need to nurture our family, and it make a priority. At the end of the day, when you most need support, it will be your family and friends by your side.

I love my family, they mean a lot to me. I couldn’t say that when I was in my early 20s. I was very career driven and all I could see was the “goal” in mind.

This does not mean, my dream has died or that I have completely given up. This does not mean, I have put my goal of MBA on a shelf. All this means, is I took some time out, to tend to a very important matter. And this will happen in life.

My journey to begin and stay on course to complete my MBA has been a bit of struggle, but I like my experience as my cup half full. I see my experiences (both positive and negative) as opportunities to learn and grow. Which inturn, make me a stronger person because of it. I have no written plan set in stone, or a specific road map to reach my goals.

This is reality, and I never thought I would be dealing with so many challenges. What I never prepared for and included in my plans were unexpected situations, ie family situations, or failing a course. Was I naive to think that none of this would happened? Do we need to include some of bumps into our goals plans and brainstorm “what ifs”. Most of the inspirational books and cds I listen to, never prepare you for the unexpected, or mention that it may occur so include them in your plan.

I think it is vital, when a person thinks out their goals, and road maps, that they need to include and brainsstorm, “what if’s situations” and come up with possibilities. Sometimes, it’s best just to deal with them as they come, because circumstances at that time will bring resolution.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Back in The Game Again

After a full semester of taking courses at a local college, I’m back in the game again with the MBA program. I’m feeling a little more competent and confident in the financial material, especially accounting to continue on with the program. Because I failed the last course, I have to repeat it again in the program.

I never thought I would be taking a winding path to get to my goals but I soon learned there are no straight paths either. Life brings challenges, unexpected bumps, twist and turns and we have to learn to deal with them. The more we experience these bumps, than the next bump doesn’t seem so bad. Your attitude in experiencing challenges is a difference maker. If you see roadblocks and challenges as opportunities for new opened doors, then it is much easier to overcome them.

I have come to accept that achieving my MBA may take a lot longer than I anticipated, but I will get there someday. Trust me, I will. I just don't want to kill myself getting there, and that is why, I have decided to pace myself.

I’m looking forward to what opportunities will come my way in the next few months, as I embark in my course in the MBA program.

Here’s to striving towards your dreams and NEVER giving up. When there is a will, I’m telling you, there’s always a way.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

How to Handle Challenges, Self-Doubt and Fears

Lately, I have been faced with many obstacles to continue with my program. One of the obstacles includes student funding. I was just informed that the student financial assistance I have been receiving will not continue.

While working out at the gym yesterday, I was listening to the CD, "Making a Difference", by John Maxwell and I was inspired.

Maxwell defined real problems from predicament. He defined a problem as something you can do something about; whereas a predicament you can’t. In my situation, there is nothing I can do about the decision made to deny me of student funds.

He indicates in his book that once you can assess whether your obstacle is a predicament or a problem, you can address it accordingly . In my case, I have problem and I have to just accept that this agency will not fund me any longer .

At that moment, I was struck with complete fear. My mind began to spiral in utter fear and thoughts ignited around; “how would I finance my school, how will I support myself and the thought of becoming homeless."

I immediately went into survival mode of wanting to quit the program and find a job. I began having doubts about the direction in my life and whether I should continue with my MBA.

But I remembered reading one of Obama’s biographies and he too experienced self-doubts early on in his political life. He shared some of his challenges and how he had self-doubts about whether he was doing the right thing or following the right path. Now, look at where is in life now. He is the president of the United States!!!

If I allow my fears to take me out, it will rob me of my dreams.

Having self-doubt and feeling fear is a normal reaction to have, especially when faced with obstacles and challenges. But that is all that they’re, just feelings. It is important not to feed into your fears and over re-act too quickly. However, it is also important to acknowledge your fears and doubts so that you can move on.

People give “life” to their fears when they act on it too quickly. My fears are valid and I am not ignoring them. They’re healthy fears and I’m aware of the consequences if I do not act on my situation. But at the same time, I will not give up “quickly” and take the easy way out. First, I will exhaust every avenue and see what else is out there for resources.

John Maxwell also indicates that once you determine your situation is a predicament and that there is nothing you can do about it, you must focus on moving on and not waste any time on the subject. Sometimes, people fall in the trap of being a victim and need to tell the world what has happened to them. Maxwell says this is an energy drainer, which robs you of valuable time that you could be using towards finding solutions.

He reinforces that your attitude in how you approach the challenges will determine your success in overcoming it. It is important that I spend more of my time focusing on what to do next and not wallow on what has happened, especially if I cannot change the outcome. I do not need to be a victim in this situation but rather I can rise up to the challenge.

I am not ready to give up. I will remain persistent and determined! I have decided to pursue other options for funding, such as scholarships and look into other resources. When there is a will, there is a way. It just depends on how bad you want it. I truly believe finances will come my way. I have faith and hope that things will look up and I will connect with the right people in the universe who will see my passion and compassion to complete my MBA program. I need to believe that, even in my darkest days.

Enclosed is John Maxwell's website if you're interested in buying any of his books or CDs. http://www.johnmaxwell.com/

Friday, July 10, 2009

Unexpected Twists and Turns, But Always Keep Your Eyes on the Ball

It looks like I will take a little longer to do my MBA. I didn’t pass one of my courses and I was required to redo it. However, I decided to take a leave of absence from the program and admit myself into a program that specialized in the course that I failed in. In January 2010, I will re-admit myself back into the MBA program with a stronger foundation and knowledge in the concepts I need to successfully move forward and pass the course.

I didn’t feel confident or comfortable redoing the course over again knowing that I was missing key concepts . So, this is why I’m making the decision to take a couple of pre-requisite courses that would help me fully grasp and understand the concepts I need to successfully pass the course.

What does all this mean? Well, it is simple. Life is about “change” and unexpected twists and turns. Although, we may have detailed plan to reach our goal. Sometimes it doesn’t always go the way we would like it too. We may take a little longer or be taken down a different path than we had originally planned. I didn’t anticipate this to happen and this happens to most of us.

Whatever the challenges and course that is thrown at us, we have to always remain focus on the main goal.

The one affirmation that I kept on telling myself over and over again in my head was, “never, never, never give up”. I’m excited about entering back into college for a few months. Who knows who I will meet and what is in store for me. I like to see challenges as "opportunities". It will take me a little longer to get my MBA, but so what!

I didn’t waste one second feeling sorry for myself. I immediately started searching for courses/programs that would address the gap. I applied to several programs and I am waiting for confirmation on whether I get accepted.

This doesn’t mean I didn’t have my disappointment moments or that I didn’t grieve. I did all that and I allowed myself to have that. But I made sure that I didn’t wallow in it for too long. Action is the key to success.

When I look at the cup half full, I’m embracing this time off and catching up with friends and family. I just returned from a fabulous one week vacation trip to New York. I had an opportunity to visit with a girlfriend I hand't seen in two years. I’m looking at this as an opportunity where other doors can open for me and that the cup is certainly have full. It also gives me an opportunity to consult with key stakeholders and possible sponsors for ideas on what I should do my Organizational Consulting Research Project on.

With that, I hope you’re all enjoying your summer and embracing opportunities that come your way. Remember, “Never, Never, Never, Give up”. You’re worth the successes and goals you set out for yourself.

Blessings to you.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Oprah Winfrey's Commandments for Success

Disclaimer: I take no credit for this article. I am publishing it in my blog because it fits in with the theme of my blog and I admire Oprah's success. The source of this article is mentioned in the end.

1) Don’t let others define you or tell you what you can’t do.Oprah Winfrey said: “Nobody had any clue that my life could be anything but working in some factory or a cotton field in Mississippi. Nobody.” For her entire life people have been telling Winfrey what she can’t do— and why. But Winfrey hasn’t listened to them. Rather, she says, she listens to her own instincts. “Gut [instinct] is what got me where I am today,” she said in 1998.

2) Take responsibility for your life.That doesn’t mean you have to absolve others of wrongdoing if you’ve experienced that in your life. It just means you still have to overcome it. As a victim of sexual abuse, Oprah Winfrey had the triggers that have led countless others to drug and alcohol addictions. But Winfrey wasn’t looking to check out from life; she was looking to lead a productive and fulfilling life. She took responsibility for how her life would turn out. “I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good,” she said.

3) Embrace God.Oprah Winfrey said: “There’s only one way I’ve been able to survive being raped, molested…only one way to cope with fears of pregnancy, my mother on welfare…my faith in God got me through.” Reading the Bible has been part of Winfrey’s everyday routine. She has said: “I act as if everything depends upon me and pray as if everything depends on God.”

4) Have compassion for others.Winfrey had a compassion she just couldn’t, and maybe didn’t want to, hide. While this was considered a “negative” for a news anchor by her bosses, it proved to be one of her great strengths as a talk show host.

5) Study the competition.When Winfrey was starting out, Phil Donahue was the king of the talk shows. “I watched Phil every day to see what I could learn,” she said.

6) Just be yourself.Winfrey’s genius lay in just being herself. She said, “My head hurts when I have to be in any situation where people are being phony. So if I can’t be myself and take my shoes off when my feet hurt, then I’m not going to do very well.”

7) Live your life with passion.Winfrey’s audience could see that from the start she was engaged in something she loved when she was doing her show. “I’m a person who lives my life with great passion, and I think that comes across on camera. …I believe you’re here to live your life with passion. Otherwise, you’re just traveling through the world blindly—and there’s no point in that.”

8) Pursue quality in your work first—money will follow.Pursue the work you love, which allows you to do it to the best of your ability. It is only then that money will follow. Today Winfrey’s net worth is estimated at around one billion dollars, making her one of the wealthiest women in the world. But the pursuit of money was never her objective, only the pursuit of quality. “Part of the reason why I am as successful as I have been [is] because success wasn’t the goal. The process was. I wanted to do good work,” she said.

9) Have a generous heart.After the murder of four-year-old Angelica Mena at the hands of a convicted child abuser, Winfrey hired former Illinois governor James Thompson to draft a 1aw that would create a national registry of people convicted of child abuse. Winfrey then lobbied hard for it. In December 1993, the National Child Protection Act, which was nicknamed the “Oprah Bill,” became law. Winfrey has also used her wealth to give her family better quality of life and to help needy and worthy students attend college on scholarships, in addition to other numerous charitable causes. “Education is freedom, and that is one way you can make a huge difference in someone’s life,” she said.

10) Read.As a little girl, Winfrey could almost always be found with a book in her hand. Reading brought her comfort and perspective, especially when she was young and troubled. “Books showed me there were possibilities in life, that there were actually people like me living in a world I could not only aspire to but attain. Reading gave me hope. For me, it was the open door.”

11) Continue to grow—personally and professionally.By 1990 Winfrey decided that her topics, which had helped bring her to the top, were for the most part too frivolous. She wanted to do shows of more substance that made a difference in people’s lives. By growing as a host, Winfrey has stayed influential and relevant. “I want to use television not only to entertain, but to help people lead better lives. I realize now, more than ever, that the show is the best way to accomplish these goals,” she said.

12) Guard against hypocrisy.In January 1995, during a show that dealt with a guest talking about her drug use, Winfrey admitted her own drug use when she was in her early twenties. She called it her “great shame.” She said: “I would have felt like a hypocrite, not saying [I had smoked cocaine], talking to people about baring their souls and standing there like I didn’t know what they were talking about.” Regarding her relationship with her half-sister, Patricia Lee, who sold the tabloids the story of Winfrey’s teenage pregnancy and her premature baby’s subsequent death, Winfrey said: “I didn’t feel I could continue to go on the air speaking to people about forgiveness if I couldn’t do it myself. There was a lot of pain, a lot of stuff let out. But I did it so that we could go on and live with each other.”

13) Strive to be the best.“The greatest contribution you can make to women’s rights, to civil rights, is to be the absolute…best at what you do,” Winfrey said.

Source: http://lovemorenyatsine.wordpress.com/watering-your-spirit/

The Most Powerful Tools: Your action, Your Words

I grew up often confused by the behaviors and actions of other people. Too often, people would say one thing then do another. Naturally, I assumed this was how things were done. After many years using this method, I started to question this way of doing things, but only after I suffered much heartache and pain from my decisions and actions. But wisdom grows out of our mistakes.

Maybe you wish you would have made better choices in life, thus far. Perhaps you wish you would have been kinder, more generous or a better friend. If you could do it over again, maybe you would do things differently. But none of that matters because each moment gives you another chance to make a different choice—right now. In each moment, you can start again.

No one knows how you are feeling or anything about you except what they observe. What you show other people through your demonstration will tell them everything they need to know about who you are today. Your actions and words are your most powerful tools for self-expression; they reflect neither your past nor your future, but represent only this very moment.


And who you are in this very moment is exactly who you choose to be. Your present behavior has a way of erasing unfavorable past actions or behavior and shapes more positive future conditions.

Be kinder to yourself. Stop giving undue thought to what you haven’t done in the past; stop feeling guilty for what you don’t think can do in the future. Think only of what you are doing now and do it with all your strength, with all your conviction, and with all your heart.

Your words and actions grow out of your beliefs and thoughts. In order to live an exceptional life, you must live your life from your highest truths and exemplify your greatest ideals.

Be patient with people who appear to be wrong. Be grateful for people who appear to be right. Always listen carefully, take a deep breath, and think before you speak. Let your humble heart and your sincerest truth shape your words, not your ego! Don’t be so arrogant as to cherish your own opinion to the exclusion of other possibilities. Always be willing to accept new truth and greater awareness when it’s time to do so.

What are you demonstrating to other people? In every exchange with another person, are you expressing your highest ideals and beliefs? Live your life from your highest truth and give others the freedom to live from theirs.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

"If I wrote a note to God"

I absolutely love this song....it is so inspirational. To all of you who are struggling....don't give up. This song will lift your spirits up.!